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Secretary
of State, Department
for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), London
16
May 2007 Dear
Secretary of State, Subject: Pig rearing or not My
friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for £3,000
from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs.
I would now like to join the "not rearing pigs" business. In
your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and which
is the best breed of pigs not to rear?
I want to be sure I approach this
endeavour in
keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the
Common Agricultural Policy. I
would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you want
not rearing, I will just as gladly not rear porkers.
Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as
Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots, or are there too many people already
not rearing these? As
I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping an accurate record of how many pigs I haven't reared.
Are there any Government or Local Authority courses on this? My
friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for
forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968.
That is - until this year, when he received a
cheque for not
rearing any. If
I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get £6,000 for not rearing
100? I
plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about
4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about £240,000 for the first year.
As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to be more
ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in my second
year, for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your department.
Incidentally, I wonder if I would be
eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all these pigs not
producing harmful and polluting methane gases. Another
point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000
tonnes of
cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops.
Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the
pigs I don't rear? I
am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please
send any information you have on that too. In
view of the above you will realise
that I will be totally unemployed, and will therefore qualify for
unemployment benefits. I
shall of course be voting for your party at the next general election. Yours
faithfully,
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